On my mind

The blog includes articles I have written over the last few years, as well as a weekly post where I share what’s on my mind, even if it’s an undeveloped idea that popped up when I was stirring a vat of cheese!

The Shape of Shame: Trauma, Posture and Coming to Tall

Way back when I was first training to work with couples, I studied with the renowned relationship expert and researcher, John Gottman. By now Gottman is about as familiar to the mainstream

A Refugee Olympic Team

Regulation and Affiliation for the “Diaspora” For some reason I have long had a fascination with athlete biographies, autobiographies and memoirs. Willie Mays, Arthur Ashe, Andre Agasse, even tennis star Alice Marble,

Life, Love and Healing: The Wonders of Oxytocin

When I was young and first learning about sexuality, an older, mentor-like friend, taught me “Don’t have sex with someone you don’t like, because you will secrete oxytocin, which then bonds you

Wisdom from the Vat: The Making of American Beauty

I have always loved cheese, enjoyed making my own wild yeast French Bread, and had a distant and vague interest in cheese making.

George Floyd – Restitution, Apology and Forgiveness Copy

When I was barely more than a toddler, living in Manhattan, I learned a very big word: restitution. My parents, both survivors of the Nazi Holocaust, had not lived in this country

Unlocking – What the Pandemic Evokes About Neglect

It was March 16th, 2020 when the San Francisco Bay Area went into lockdown. That was the last time I was in my psychotherapy office. At the time, the mayor said it

The Best of 2019

As a perennial bookworm each year approaches its end, I peruse the stacks and contemplate, what was the best book I read this year? It is like my own little Nobel Prize

One Becomes Two: Two Books Are Better Than One

After much reflection, I’ve made a decision about my next book project. I thought I could write a book intended for therapists about how to work with clients who had been neglected

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