Sexuality is a complex, wide and potentially wonderful world. Our culture gives us wildly confusing messages about it. On one hand we are stimulated and teased by it virtually everywhere we look. On the other, there is a poverty of real information about it. Most doctors, educators, parents, even therapists rarely speak of it in a meaningful way. Even couples themselves don’t talk about it, out of fear, shame, or the simple belief that they are “supposed to know” much more than they do. So where do young people “learn” about sex? Nowadays, largely from porn and Hollywood, which are hardly realistic portrayals.
Sexuality encompasses so many parts of us: body, emotion, relationship, operating together or not. It can be a wondrous source of pleasure and joy; and/or devastating, and very confusing. It is my wish to contribute to better understanding about it, so we can manage and enjoy our own better!
When I was young and first learning about sexuality, an older, mentor-like friend, taught me “Don’t have sex with someone you don’t like, because you will secrete oxytocin, which then bonds you to that person. So even if you don’t like them, you will find yourself kind of stuck like
“The brain is first and foremost an organ of action” – Roger Sperry, Nobel Prize winner, 1981 For those of us who work with the traumatized, which like it or not is probably most of us to some extent, it is well known that trauma’s gravest and most painful sequelae
It was almost two decades ago when I stumbled across a most remarkable video. In it, a circle of women, all naked; and their group leader, a woman in her seventies, also naked. They were pre-orgasmic, and she was teaching them how to have their first orgasms. I was immediately