Sexuality

The blog includes articles I have written over the last few years, as well as a weekly post where I share what’s on my mind, even if it’s an undeveloped idea that popped up when I was stirring a vat of cheese!

Pleasure to Meet You

Wanting, Longing and the Conundrum of Need In the attachment literature Berkeley luminary Mary Main eloquently describes the “dilemma without solution.” For this bereft infant the source of safety and the source

Angels Dimensions of Possibility

Another remarkable BBC story in the wee hours inspired and compelled me; an interview with an Afghan refugee speaking about his narrow escape from the death grip of the Taliban, actually from

Life, Love and Healing: The Wonders of Oxytocin

When I was young and first learning about sexuality, an older, mentor-like friend, taught me “Don’t have sex with someone you don’t like, because you will secrete oxytocin, which then bonds you

The Largest Sexual Organ: Using Our Brains to Restore Traumatized Sexuality

“The brain is first and foremost an organ of action” – Roger Sperry, Nobel Prize winner, 1981 For those of us who work with the traumatized, which like it or not is

Coming of Age: Sexuality Pioneer Betty Dodson Turns 90

It was almost two decades ago when I stumbled across a most remarkable video. In it, a circle of women, all naked; and their group leader, a woman in her seventies, also

Pandemic: An Upstream Look At #MeToo

“Two country people were fishing in a river. As they fished and talked, they saw a child floating down the river dangerously close to the rushing waterfall. Fearing the child would drown,

Am I a “Sex Addict?” Reflections on Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Lately it is not uncommon for me to get an emotional phone call, where the breathless voice on the line says “I’m a sex addict! My partner threw me out! Can you

Not For the Faint of Heart: Restoring Loving Sexuality in Couples Working Through Childhood Sexual Abuse and Neglect

Last month one of my client couples gave birth to a child. Always a joyous event, this birth had particular significance to me. When I first started seeing this couple, just over

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