On my mind

The blog includes articles I have written over the last few years, as well as a weekly post  where I share what’s on my mind, even if it’s an undeveloped idea that popped up when I was stirring a vat of cheese! 

Out On A Limb: Extremities, Balance, Acceptance

I write this in a hunt and peck, one-handed fashion from my perch in paradise: Hilo, Hawaii, where the drama queen volcano Kilauea is wildly dancing and singing, erupting in her

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Love and Regulation: Trauma, Neglect, Healing

(WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS EXPLICIT REFERENCES TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND OTHER SEXUAL REFERENCES) For many of us with sexual abuse trauma, our first “knowledge” of sexual stimulation, eroticism, or any

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The Golden Age: Loss, The Bermuda Triangle, Our Bodies

You are receiving this on what in the U.S. is Thanksgiving Day. I am writing it, however, on the 22nd of November, a sad day in 2022, when we lost one of

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Giving Thanks: Control, Regulation, Gratitude

As I reflected on the upcoming domestic Thanksgiving holiday, it occurred to me that I have so much more to say about food and eating. Eating disorders are a lonely and seemingly

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Voice and Spine Come Home to Roost: Roots, Connections, Renewal

When I was preparing for my recent talks in Oxford, I actively reviewed my historical roots as a therapist and especially in the trauma field. One of my theoretical heroes was the

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Sturm und Drang: Hair, Community, Music

Amidst all the devastation of war, weather events and anxiety surrounding the upcoming US election, I remind everyone, including myself, to carefully regulate their news consumption. I for one, never, even in

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True Repair: Yom Kippur, Why Apology Matters, What Heals?

Next week’s Jewish High Holiday Yom Kippur brings many thoughts. My childhood memories of that day are spotty and mostly painful. Our dad being the cantor was more nervous and irritable than

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Indivisible: Apartheid, Visibility, Melting Pot

Again, so strange these flights of memory. I remember years ago Bessel saying that trauma is a looping cycle, a carousel of remembering and forgetting, both in the micro and the macro.

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Spine and Voice in Oxford: Neglect Informing, Interdependence, Repair

I woke up with a start after my unheard-of, third-in-a-row, almost eight-hour night of sleep. Amazing. I am not sure if it is sheer and total exhaustion from all the excitement, stimulation

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The Trauma of Neglect: Identifying and Treating it in Therapy