Blog

The blog includes articles I have written over the last few years, as well as a weekly post where I share what’s on my mind, even if it’s an undeveloped idea that popped up when I was stirring a vat of cheese!

A Broken Clutch: Rupture, Object Constancy, Healing

My husband bought the Miata in 2013. From the beginning, we affectionately named it “the Mouse,” because it was small and gray and could vanish at lightning speed (It was however far

Ghost of Nothing: Defenseless, Attachment, Humility

Got to get something done todayGive accomplishment a shotMight not have a full palette to useBut I’m gonna paint with the colors I’ve got Bruce Hornsby, This Too Shall Pass Usually, the

Out On A Limb: Extremities, Balance, Acceptance

I write this in a hunt and peck, one-handed fashion from my perch in paradise: Hilo, Hawaii, where the drama queen volcano Kilauea is wildly dancing and singing, erupting in her

Love and Regulation: Trauma, Neglect, Healing

(WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS EXPLICIT REFERENCES TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND OTHER SEXUAL REFERENCES) For many of us with sexual abuse trauma, our first “knowledge” of sexual stimulation, eroticism, or any

The Golden Age: Loss, The Bermuda Triangle, Our Bodies

You are receiving this on what in the U.S. is Thanksgiving Day. I am writing it, however, on the 22nd of November, a sad day in 2022, when we lost one of

Giving Thanks: Control, Regulation, Gratitude

As I reflected on the upcoming domestic Thanksgiving holiday, it occurred to me that I have so much more to say about food and eating. Eating disorders are a lonely and seemingly

Voice and Spine Come Home to Roost: Roots, Connections, Renewal

When I was preparing for my recent talks in Oxford, I actively reviewed my historical roots as a therapist and especially in the trauma field. One of my theoretical heroes was the

Sturm und Drang: Hair, Community, Music

Amidst all the devastation of war, weather events and anxiety surrounding the upcoming US election, I remind everyone, including myself, to carefully regulate their news consumption. I for one, never, even in

Amending Our Process: Crafting Apologies that Heal

When I was perhaps as young as four years old, my mother taught us a little apology ritual. I don’t know how she devised it or where it came from. Whenever we

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