Trauma & Neglect
Trauma by definition is overwhelming experience, which essentially means the stimulus is greater than what the brain and nervous system are designed to process in their customary way. Neglect is the panoply of essential missing experiences, without which survival and wellbeing may be compromised and possibly threatened. Both can dysregulate the brain, and body and leave their mark on virtually all aspects of human functioning.
Nothing for Everybody
Too Much of Nothing: The Invisible Epidemic of Childhood Neglect
I am hard at work on my new upcoming book, “Too much of Nothing: The Invisible Epidemic of Childhood Neglect.” This will be a comprehensive book on the trauma of neglect, written for the “lay public-” essentially everybody. it will: define neglect trauma, what it is, is or more precisely what it is not. In accessible and user-friendly language, it will provide the “evidence basis,” in trauma theory, neuroscience, biology and attachment theory terms; and map the vast array of neglect’s impacts symptoms and life challenges. All the ways that nothing is not nothing!
Intended as a practical guide, it will be peppered with lots of real-life stories of (disguised or composite of course) past clients and loved ones, and (not disguised) stories about myself,; strategies for healing, and of course my message of undying hope.
It will in a nutshell include, a concise definition of what neglect is; how to recognize it; essentials about brain and body; perhaps most significantly the thorny and painful challenges around relationship and sexuality; and the healing journey. We are shooting for an early 2025 publication. I better get back to work because Nothing really matters!
Topics covered in this book will include:
- What is neglect?
- I had food, clothing and shelter, so what was missing?
- The “three P’s of neglect:” passivity, procrastination and paralysis
- Caretaking: why the “external” focus?
- Isolation: self centeredness or self reliance?
- The conundrum of relationship
- “Knowing” it all
- The koan of sexuality
- The myth of powerlessness
- Healing? Who needs It?
- Steps to healing and growth for the self reliant character
Ghost of Nothing: Defenseless, Attachment, Humility
Got to get something done todayGive accomplishment a shotMight not have a full palette to useBut I’m gonna paint with the colors I’ve got Bruce Hornsby, This Too Shall Pass Usually, the wee hours are a time of quiet solitude, productivity and comfort for me. I guess those three things
Out On A Limb: Extremities, Balance, Acceptance
I write this in a hunt and peck, one-handed fashion from my perch in paradise: Hilo, Hawaii, where the drama queen volcano Kilauea is wildly dancing and singing, erupting in her fiery, spectacular way. I take pleasure in knowing that when she settles down, or “pipes down,” as my
Love and Regulation: Trauma, Neglect, Healing
(WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS EXPLICIT REFERENCES TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND OTHER SEXUAL REFERENCES) For many of us with sexual abuse trauma, our first “knowledge” of sexual stimulation, eroticism, or any kind of sexual experience, was likely to be frightening and most likely confusing. It is painful, not