This is a repair tool for those times when you and your partner are both triggered, seem to be stuck in a place of disconnection, and are saying to each other “How do we get out of here?” Although I am not a fan of cute acronyms I am resorting to that here, because reconnection […]
Life Boat: A Repair Tool Read More »
“In normal, optimally interactive dyads, only about 30% of their time together is actually spent in the affectively positive, mutually coordinated interactive state. The rest of the time is spent in mis-coordinated interactive states, accompanied by negative affect, attempts to get back to coordinated states, and positive affect. There is a constant oscillation between matched
Out of the Tempest: The Challenge of Interactive Repair Read More »
In the past ten or so years of burgeoning progress, the growing subfield of traumatology has come to identify and elucidate much about the physiology of trauma. From the start it was undeniably obvious that trauma was a “physioneurosis,” (van der Kolk, McFarlane and Weisaeth, 1996) directly afflicting the body even if there was no
Body Oriented Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma Read More »
“The loss of the daughter to the mother, the mother to the daughter, is the essential female tragedy.” – Adrienne Rich On a dark November afternoon, I received an unusual phone message from a woman in Southern California. She had gotten my name from her daughter, and she wanted to come and see me. When
“The brain is first and foremost an organ of action” – Roger Sperry, Nobel Prize winner, 1981 For those of us who work with the traumatized, which like it or not is probably most of us to some extent, it is well known that trauma’s gravest and most painful sequelae are in the area of
The Largest Sexual Organ: Using Our Brains to Restore Traumatized Sexuality Read More »
It was almost two decades ago when I stumbled across a most remarkable video. In it, a circle of women, all naked; and their group leader, a woman in her seventies, also naked. They were pre-orgasmic, and she was teaching them how to have their first orgasms. I was immediately transfixed. My years of work
Coming of Age: Sexuality Pioneer Betty Dodson Turns 90 Read More »
“Two country people were fishing in a river. As they fished and talked, they saw a child floating down the river dangerously close to the rushing waterfall. Fearing the child would drown, one of them jumped in the river and brought the child safely to the bank. But soon there was another child floating down
Pandemic: An Upstream Look At #MeToo Read More »
Lately it is not uncommon for me to get an emotional phone call, where the breathless voice on the line says “I’m a sex addict! My partner threw me out! Can you help me?” The anguish is palpable and my heart goes out to both the caller and the partner. Of course I want to
Am I a “Sex Addict?” Reflections on Compulsive Sexual Behavior Read More »
Last month one of my client couples gave birth to a child. Always a joyous event, this birth had particular significance to me. When I first started seeing this couple, just over 2 years ago, they had had virtually no sexual relationship in some four years. At that time the wife, a survivor of childhood
“Attachment is the fundamental drive in human beings. It is a drive that brings aggression and sexuality to its defense and to its enhancement, and it is the precursor to human love. It is gained through the delicate interplay of vocal tone and facial expression, through body to body communication, through the dyadic system of
Old Dog New Tricks: Enter Neurofeedback Read More »